1.
MUDHOLE of the overdose ::: of the carotid arteries ::: of the fried chicken induced comatose :::: of the frightened black and dark red sheet of which has :::: wrapped his head and the thousand fold winter: :: and the lily cut spring ::: and the apple sucking fall :: and the eternity summer and the MUDHOLE of the every standing certainty and to the extinction of fish ::: MUDHOLE of the fence post drilled to the southward facing god of the hills and to the flooded banks of the new and to the light fixtures and the brick pavers laid lopsided :::: on the lack of soul of each and every MUDHOLE in the wild and to the cat ::: that hugs the fence and comes walking back and back for week old tuna and ::: MUDHOLE that rubs the inside of the eyes ::: at day break and the five forlorn hawks ::::: and the calf being licked over several times from now forward :::: MUDHOLE of the bank managers eyes and the money fucking factory of line eating tree eating bush eating eyes spitting
consumers for the childhood of the system grins
as I drive and imagine riding the powerlines as a boy
and spitting down from the lookout and a wind swept
loogie toward the down ooooo and it grins
wider than the chocolate milk swollen river bank
and how I
cuss the rain
for fishing for
how grateful it can
become a
limelight and drowning
like the coonhound
lost to snakes which I
hate and the still cold
the turning green
the moss is waving
exits and moves
around like a
microwave dinner
2.
the hospital is a dream
no one went to that
had health insurance.
broken right arm
dislocated left elbow
sprained ankle
broken right foot
you would rather dream the dinner
theater owned by Floridian
tourist opened in 2001
just after 9/11.
a few sponsored spaghetti benefits
of the terminally ill.
Garth Brooks cover band
once a month.
an American flag
is a safe dream.
Trump / Pence stickers on
all the cars. excuse me
your dream was
interrupted. one cell
provider dropped call
lost service. sponsored ad
by the soda company
where everyone works
after school if they stay
the bully’s dad owner spokesman
five different kids with five different
women is the slogan.
we interrupt this
message to provide his
son caught spinning up
the football field. in his pick-up
he will miss his senior night
game & tell me he would fuck my sister
oh man she’s looking good
where is my wet dream. now
a transition to night scares
of the state kept tax
refunds
when we got behind
& repossessed
mom’s car. lean on
the house. took my grandmother’s
land & god is
taking her mind
is this a punishment
is this a genetic disorder
is this the end of the world
is this where I pray
is my dad next
this is becoming a fever dream of
a town. I am a remote-control
drone driven by tourist
hands. at the choose & cut
instead. shut my fingers
in the truck door. lost my shoes
my phone. started a fire. pissed
on the fire. woke up went
to church with my parents. just over the hill
from which I am now. ascending. laid off
over 20 percent everyone my family
knew. hillbilly grill owned by Floridians
food like shit. only for tourists
the grocery store. butchered
whole hog sausage. closed on Sundays
like people’s drug store. bought
plan b for my girlfriend. after prom
with money I made
cutting grass. that spring
we broke up. a couple
days after. cheating
with the centerfielder. she tries
to text me now. where is
my wet dream. wrecked
my jeep the first winter
I had it. late coming home
from the movies. cops said
pass a sobriety test after
driving into the tree. replaced
front bumper. realigned the front
axle. bankrupt
nursing home. every one’s grandparents died. at high school girlfriend worked part time. got onto pain pills stole off the patients. we would drive up MT. Jefferson to snort Vicodin off the back bumper. not worry about what happened below us. we would look down & see the hospital lights. hear the jake brakes off tractor & trailers when it got dark enough we would go
home. not talk until next time.
ICE is now coming
to deport your
workers. this is not
a dream. wake up this is an order.
10 were gone
in seconds. happened that
fast. a business owned by Floridians
at the annual haunted house- little league
field- converted winery. converted sinner
in the parking lot. my first blowjob
on Halloween night. she asked & I felt
guilty. gripped to the steering wheel. hell
is moving just below me. this is my wet dream.
owner suicide. no longer in business & forgive us
we are not a violent place
we are an area of concern for others
we will never turn our back. yes lord. we will
pray. wash the feet of
the deacons. take our money
ties to the next county
over. to Tennessee. yes lord we
will open our hands to
the people. they are the ones
who need us. yes lord. we will not
give in to
adulteresses
fornicators
dope smokers
yes lord
we will not
indulge in the drink. we
must be vigilant for Christ
he comes like a thief
in the night. lord we come
to you today for we are
fearful. a congregation fallen
short of the glory of
god. we have all
been lost & backslidden
yes lord
turn on the light
again. lord we
need you to
hear us. this is
the end of days. we
will be washed
again. holy lord
as the river
floods to the horse’s
bridle. with blood.
yes lord. it will never
run dry.
Evan Gray is from Jefferson, North Carolina and the author of the chapbook Blindspot (The Rest (Garden-Door Press, 2017). His work has been featured in Word For/Word, Inter rupture, Dream Pop Press, and others.